Do not trespass

For three years I have been broken open, exposed, recreated…it’s been painful physically, emotionally, spiritually. Soul piercing.

Oh, there were days (weeks, months) where I wanted it ALL to change, to go away, to wake up from a bad dream. But now…I can say, through tears, I wouldn’t change a thing.

Where are you in your timeline on earth? Not young or old or in between – but in your soul. If it’s wonderful, it is okay to be in the best of times – it’s a gift. But maybe you’re in-between, questioning, longing, knowing something isn’t as it should be. Or, and I can feel your sorrow and pain, you’re in the dark days. No matter where you are…there is HOPE.

Today, I’m writing to you who are desperate. Someday I know I will be able to write again of wonder and joy and awe-inspiring things. But for now, I have an overwhelming urge to share my heart with those who are hurting. Because whatever the cause of your pain, your sorrow, your hopelessness – I know the depths. (And if I could tell you my story, you would see I am writing this before what I perceive to be the worst has even happened.)

As I settled into my desk chair today Light broke through all these cracks in me. You know the cracks: doubt, worry, fear, lack of trust, shame, sorrow, regret, you can add a few to the list. Suddenly I could envision all of them exploding beyond me and instead of feeling vulnerable, I felt…free.

Free to cry, to ponder, to say it’s not alright, and to, yes, look forward to what God has in store. It’s letting go of me so that my clenched hands can accept beyond what I can see. A peace that though I still can’t see how it can be good again, I know that somehow it will be.

This moment has not been easy to reach. And the next one probably won’t be either. But the Light that has broken through my ‘do not trespass’ places, gives me enough light for the next step. That’s all we’re given my fellow sojourner, just enough to keep in step with Jesus. For He has made and makes all things possible. His arms spread wide on a cross were a sacrificial invitation to run into those same arms and find the freedom only He can give.

He saw your face as He surrendered to the cross. In the eternity with Jesus, there will be no more pain, tears, heartache, sorrow, sickness, death. NO MORE – and where forever the Savior takes us on a journey that we can’t even begin to fathom. Surrender your do not trespass places to Jesus. The Light of the world does His best work there.