Waiting Place
We often find ourselves in the waiting place. Waiting for a new job, a mending of a relationship, waiting for a diagnosis, a cure, a break from the hard stuff, relief in pain. Have you ever heard of Abide Meditations? Scripture-filled short and long meditations for daytime and night. Today, there was three-minute message focused on: But you, beloved, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith and praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God as you await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to bring you etenral life. (Jude 1:20-21 BSB emphasis mine)
Some part of us knows that what we’re waiting for may never occur. Another, deeper part, hopes it will. And the part in us where the Holy Spirit resides, our hearts and very being, says: just rest, seek, trust.
This isn’t natural for us. Some of us are doers. Some of us have not encountered this waiting thing before. And all of us just want to move on. To be anywhere but this place.
One thing about eternity that brings much comfort for us ‘waiters’ is that time itself will no longer be our focus. Forever is a long time and we don’t have to count the hours or years let alone the eons ahead. This is freeing, this is hope, this is promise.
Personally, over the last eight months of waiting through pain, what Paul David Tripp calls ‘suffering’, I have cried out ‘How long Lord?’ I’ve begged for an end – a Job finale. Everything restored as it was. Days have blurred one into another and still I ask every day for the miracle. Because… I can, you can. We are His children and we can ask. He does answer – just not always the way we think He should, or when we think He should.
So, today if you are a ‘waiter’ remember He is waiting with you. As the Abide message said today: ever wait in line for something and then a friend comes along and you start chatting? The time flies by. It’s the same for us in our wait now. Right here in line with us is Jesus, our friend and Savior. We need to chat with Him – because in doing this we will stop counting how long and focus on what’s truly important: His presence.
Time – for Truth
Last week I was open and vulnerable with you – definitely not how I usually operate. I’m guessing you might not be that way either. I introduced the subject of suffering – in all it’s myriad forms: physical and/or emotional pain, fear (also known as worry, doubt, fretting, etc.), and so much more.
Since that post, I was blindsided by the big A: anxiety. To the point that after two days of a racing heart I wound up in the ER wondering if I had heart issues – thankfully I do not. Have you, or are you, in that place called anxiety? If so, share some words of wisdom with us. For four days now I have been confronting this enemy of the soul – with some success, as in one step forward and then two back.
But this morning when I woke up I felt the nudge to begin to seriously look at what triggers some of this. This may seem a little out there, but maybe it will encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to help you find some triggers.
During the last seven months of severe daily pain, I have weighed a lot of this journey on my sleep quality – actually the lack of it is more like it. I get up often at night and move around a lot to get comfortable. I look at the clock, calculating how much – or little – sleep I got. The nudge was: hide the clock face and don’t give in to looking at it. I’ve been doing that – because the truth is: me counting it does nothing to help the situation. But it may be doing a whole lot to trigger anxiety.
“In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:8 NIV)
Then the nudge was: what is truth? So many of us are hurting and need these anchors for our souls.
1. God doesn’t disappear when we go to bed. There’s a wonderful old song that ends the first stanza by saying: “Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.” God is light and there is no darkness in Him. His light is set over us throughout our long nights. Might not see it when our eyes flutter open, but it is ever present.
2. Anxiety is us still trying to do this on our own. I don’t feel like I’m purposely trying to go it alone, but truth is, if I’m counting the hours, have a racing heart when I’m awake, then I don’t think I’m resting in the Lord.
3. Remember how the Bible tells us of Jesus’ works while here on earth? Things like stilling a storm, raising the dead, healing the blind and lepers. If He could do that while He inhabited a human body, I think we are safe in concluding that He can calm the storm in and around us – but we must allow Him.
Here are verses for the truths above: (2 Corinthians 4:6, 1 Peter 5:7, Matthew 6:27). PLEASE look them up, write them out, and put them where you will see them. Repeat them in your storm. God’s Word is powerful – and He has not – and will not – dessert us. Let’s invite the only true God to work His peace in us. If you are struggling with anxiety, I would love to pray for you – and covet your prayers as well.
Joy in Suffering?
If you’ve followed me for a while, you’ve probably noticed: I’ve gone missing. Heartache and pain struck our family last fall and I clammed up. For me, it’s chronic, debilitating physical pain. For my husband, a diagnosis that’s not good.
There’s all kinds of pain and suffering. Physical, emotional, spiritual, relational – not to mention that inflicted by outside circumstances like disasters, accidents, food insecurity, financial insecurity, persecution, and a long list I can’t begin to fathom. At any given time, our lives are touched by it. Just sometimes, it seems overwhelming.
I’ve read books and articles, listened to podcasts. There were no easy answers. I was/am discouraged. Because…I’m human. But here’s what we need to know: we live in a broken world. Wasn’t supposed to be this way. In the beginning: “Then God looked over all he had made, and He saw that it was very good!” (Genesis 1:31 NLT)
Dosen’t feel so good right now. How about you? Are you currently in the midst of a trial that blindsided you? I think it helps to know we’re not alone. At times, I have needed to know someone out there was experiencing something similar to me. Why that helps, I don’t know. Perhaps because it eases the pain of the isolation that often goes hand-in-hand with suffering.
I don’t have answers, but I can’t lose my hope – and neither should you. “Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why the unease within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.” (Psalm 43:5 BSB)
My website is: Paris Renae, Living Braver. I thought I knew what that meant ten years ago when I started writing. Hindsight now shows me I didn’t have a clue. Perhaps my focus, as you join me here, is going to shift a bit. It used to be: keeping an eternal perspective. Because those who know Jesus do have a glorious forever ahead. I don’t want to lose sight of that – for your sake and mine – but we are here and now. How do we manage until our someday?
If you are suffering long-term or even just beginning a journey, would you comment briefly and let me know how I can pray for your situation? Sometimes, for myself, all I can utter is: Lord, Help. But what if a community developed of us crying out to our Creator for each other? Our prayers don’t fall on deaf ears. A united, faithful, and hopeful community of prayer sufferers can lighten our loads and bring joy.
Oh yes, I did say joy. And I’m determined to find mine again and help you find yours too. “He made heaven and earth, the sea, and everything in them. He keeps every promise forever.” (Psalm 146:6 NLT) Forever – we can rejoice this Easter Sunday – no matter the pain, because someday no more of this.
He Came to Show Us
I know – I’ve been absent. For the first time in ten years. I’ve been a bit lost. How about you? It’s that time when all is glitter and lights and good cheer. Only sometimes…it’s not. I see it all around our broken world.
Yet today I learned this from another devoted follower of Messiah: “That place where you feel abandoned…is really where God has placed you to be met by Someone — Him.” (Ann Voskamp) Dear one, we’re never alone, never forgotten, never going through the mess with no purpose.
“While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life.” (2Corinthians 5:4 NLT)
I’m thinking since God was willing to have His Son come into a rough and brutal world, leaving behind glory and perfection, to be found in a weak, needy baby body – might I be willing to walk through this time of pain in my body?
Might you be willing to walk through your loss? Your hurt? Your shame? Your agony? Sermons remind me, books explain to me, and the Word shows me that He has lived all these things. We couldn’t believe He understood all our hurts, so Jesus came to show us that we could trust Him. “I have come as a light to shine in this dark world, so that all who put their trust in Me will no longer remain in the dark.” (John 12:46 NLT)
It is hardest in the darkness, right? In the middle of the night when sleep evades and fears loom, we must let the Light pierce through. There’s a portion of Psalm 139 that is often skipped over. David speaks of how numerous God’s thoughts about us are and that we are precious to Him. He finishes with a simple phrase: “And when I wake up, You are still with me!” (Psalm 139:18b NLT)
The Light – Jesus, Prince of Peace – enveloping us in Light we might not perceive now but will someday bask in forever.
So, yes, MERRY CHRISTMAS – because even if this Christmas seems anything but joy-full, the promises are still true. His guarantee unbreakable. May we hold on tight knowing: “God Himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee He has given us His Holy Spirit.” (2Corinthians 5:5 NLT)
Counted
Time to work my way out of all that has silenced me the past few weeks. Only one way I know of: list the blessings. When I am lost in all that is wrong, first I hear my mother’s voice: ‘Count your blessings, not your woes.’
Then I feel the Holy Spirit move my soul – for many are the blessings. Sometimes I just forget. I’m in a journey of change right now. Caught in a cycle of trying to learn to manage and live with pain – while also not letting it become what life is all about.
I despair at times – wondering how I live that life that was just a couple months ago. Then I’ll have a decent day where little joys from little boys make me smile. Where the gentleness and steadfastness of my husband make me breathe. But most of all where God reminds me: “Grace and peace are mine in abundance through my knowledge of God and Jesus my Lord.” (a personal paraphrase of 2Peter 1:2 NIV)
Grace…peace. Not just a little, an abundance. And I realize it is true. For without those how would I have navigated life, not just the last couple months? Grace – His favor, love, mercy, forgiveness, and more that have made an eternity of no pain my true reality. Peace – the inner assuredness in the midst of chaos or sorrow or fear or worry…or pain.
Don’t miss the next part of the verse: knowledge of God and Jesus.
That is where grace and peace flow from. How can we experience what comes from God and our Savior if we do not intimately know Him? Ahh, a blessing to count. Jesus has taught me through the power of His Spirit in me for thirty-nine years. Through the Bible, through prayer, through fellowship with those who follow Him.
So, in times that seem like a dark valley, we are not alone. The Savior’s comfort and presence help us through whatever circumstance we are in.
And then joy breaks through — a little guy turned four, his mother took him to the beach to see the sunrise, and he exclaimed: “God must have painted the sky for my birthday!” And this grammy’s heart soared to the heavens and blessings were counted and woes forgotten.
Changing
I’m looking out over trees of yellow, red, orange – the valley below is showing its array of colors as well. Winter is coming early to the mountains this year. The first freeze is only days away. A young woman at the farmers market was selling gorgeous boquets of dahlias and zinnias and said next week her fields will be gone til next year.
Changing colors, changing temperatures, changing seasons. Though I love autumn and all its brilliance, I can’t say the same about change. I’m a Florida girl and perpetual green suits me – no reminder that things grow in beauty and then fade and are no more.
We all know this. We try desperately to outrun it – this change that each passing year brings. Most with no assurance that this is not all there is. Truth: “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.” (Isaiah 40:8 NLT)
As Christians, this should lead us to look at those around us with sorrow and determination to make sure they know that there is a forever. Where life goes on and on. Where loved ones are always strong and healthy.
A someday where aches and pains, fears and worries, sorrow and tears – won’t even be vocabulary words. That was the plan in Eden – the plan didn’t get destroyed, it got delayed. But the delay is nearing its fulfillment. That’s a change I do look forward to. “And the One seated on the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Then He said, “Write this down, for these words are faithful and true.” (Revelation 21:5 BSB)
So, I rejoice. What holds us back now, the inevitable sorrow that will pass our way in days and years to come, these are temporary. We can rejoice in the knowledge that God is the Renewer of all things.
That is Jesus’ message to us. He has paid the price that makes it possible to not fear earth challenges. The Savior showed us that joy is ours in spite of the delay. I see a squirrel stuffing cheeks full; he feels the change that will make him burrow down deep for months. He fears not, for His Creator has made him for this.
He has made us able as well. Oh, I agree, at times I do not feel able. I want to quit. But faithful is our God and there is strength for today. “For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God. As the Scriptures say, ‘People are like grass; their beauty is like a flower in the field. The grass withers and the flower fades. But the word of the Lord remains forever.’ And that word is the Good News that was preached to you.” (1Peter 1:23-25 NLT)
One Thing
Laying in bed longing for a good night’s sleep I started to ask God “Just this one thing” – when I realized that really I want a lot more than one thing. No, nothing material, not money or things. No, nothing self-fulfilling, not popularity or notoriety.
So, I stopped before I asked and said: really God, I don’t think I know what I want. Yes, restoration of my aging body now beginning to slow me down and give me pain. Yes, for all my family members to know You and walk with You. Yes, to a lot of good things. But then God gently prodded…
One thing. “One thing I ask of the Lord,” (Psalm 27:4a NIV)
There’s one thing we all need. Whether during times where our world is rocked or during times where all seems right. See, what we think we want is instant answers, instant cures, instant fixes.
But instant isn’t the way things work in life. Whether our circumstances are caused by our poor choices or because we live in a broken world, problems may seem to appear instantly – but the solutions…well sometimes they come and sometimes…they don’t. Always Jesus is with us in the process, but we have a role: “this is what I seek:” (Psalm 27:4b NIV)
Seek. Not for answers. God was saying to my heart that night – seek just one thing: Me. I have lots of suggestions of how God can fix all this mess. Seems He isn’t interested in my suggestions, rather He wants to be my God not my genie in a bottle. He wants to show me His ways.
“that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life” (Psalm 27:4c NIV) How do we d-w-e-l-l in His house all our days (not a church sanctuary, not a place)? It’s that desire for His presence, as though we are living under the same roof. When we live day in and day out under the same roof, we know each other well. To dwell is make a place your home – His presence our home.
“to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. For in the day of trouble He will keep me safe in His dwelling,” (Psalm 27:4d -5a NIV) The beauty of the Lord: He is perfect, there is no weakness in Him, He is truth, and He is love. Seek Him in His temple – He has made us His temple, His Holy Spirit is in us. We need not scour the internet or search endlessy for what we think we need. Because in the day (or month or year) of trouble He will keep us safe – in His dwelling. Ah, dwell with the Lord – and no matter what – we are safe. And some sweet day – no more cries in the night asking Him to fix it, for all will be well, forever!
J.O.Y.
Need a little? Joy that is.
A friend recently told me “You can’t let ‘this’ keep you from living life.” What is your ‘this’? Maybe you don’t have one…yet. But we all do from time to time.
For a long time, I’ve been signing my emails with the tag line “counting it all J.O.Y.”. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds,” (James 1:2 ESV) Beyond this obvious reference I found a little nugget of light. Just what we need for the ‘this’ times.
I was always the happy child. The one who always said ‘fine’ when asked how I was feeling when sick. The one quick to smile after an argument or sad news. I found humor in most things. Once I became a Christian, I felt it was a sweet gift from God. The way He made me.
But that me has been missing lately. I had my idea of how things should be when I reached this point in life. And when suddenly they weren’t, the smile faded; humor was no place to be found. I was not fine.
We all know that happy and joy are not the same right? Happy depends on circumstances. We’re all happy when the bills are paid and there’s leftover. We’re all happy when it’s vacation time.
But joy – that’s different. It isn’t circumstantial. It’s not a thing that can be bought or place you can go. Joy is a gift you can receive or you can reject. Because joy is a person and joy is a promise. You see, my original idea was that j-o-y was an acronym for Jesus Only You. That was long before my current ‘this’.
And so, I’m trying to unbury my gift. Because it was my choice to cover it over with…worry, fear, anxiety. And I can’t unbury it on my own. It’s amazing just how helpless we are. We need our God every moment. Jesus only You can fix my ‘this’ – or help me live joy in the midst of ‘this’. Jesus only You can take my shovel and unbury the gift of giving praise in all circumstances. “Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.” (1Thessalonians 5:16-18 NLT)
Here, sweet Lord, take my shovel, resurrect my gift. May Your praise ever be on my lips.
Don’t Lose Touch
You and me – we don’t cherish difficulties. We don’t look forward to seeing what’s on the other side of hard. Fortunately, that’s normal.
After several days of trying to figure out ‘why’, ‘how’, and a lot of ‘I can’ts’, I was weary. Body and soul. I was still in my Bible daily. Still praying. But as I went to bed one night, I realized I wasn’t talking to my Father as I tried to get comfortable and leave all the unknowns alone. That was not normal.
Although I didn’t do a very good job of it, I called out from my heart and told my great big God: ‘Yes, I’m angry. Disillusioned. Sad. I confessed I questioned why He would allow such troubles. He already knew all this, of course. But I didn’t. I was trying to be the strong Christian woman. And in those moments of releasing those pent up accusations, He blissfully let me fall asleep. “Then Jesus said, “Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)
I wish I could say I woke up in the morning and all was well – in many ways, it wasn’t. But in one important way it was. I had been reminded that Christ is faithful. Giving us just what we need, when we need it. I think we often expect that since we’re followers of His, all should be sunshine and roses. How could it be? This is a sin sick world. It’s been spinning towards destruction since Adam and Eve chose their own way.
My mother used to say “Into each life, a little rain must fall.” She forgot to tell me that sometimes it’s just sprinkles and sometimes its hurricanes. All this stuff of life, makes us long for a someday. And the only someday that will fix it all, is the first one in the presence of Jesus. “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and welcome you into My presence, so that you also may be where I am.” (John 14:3 BSB)
When we lose touch with the One who gave His life for us, it doesn’t mean we’ve lost our salvation. It doesn’t mean we’re bad. It also doesn’t mean He loves us less. It means we’re human, still growing into the plans He has for us. We let go of His hand sometimes, but He holds us in the palm of his hand. “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish. No one can snatch them out of My hand.” (John 10:28 BSB)
Don’t lose touch. Hold on tight. Through the valleys He goes before us. The Holy Spirit never leaves us. His touch on our souls is forever ours. And our forever is a guarantee.
Every Morning
Morning person or night owl? I’ve always been an early riser – love to greet the day (these days earlier than necessary but that’s an age thing and a whole other subject, not going there).
In that stillness of pre-dawn, I pad around while my hubby blissfully gets in his last snoozes. I glance up often from my reading to see if the sky is beginning to turn lighter. When it does, I go out, breathing in the damp, Florida air and look heavenward to see how the Master Artist is painting the new day. But lately, I haven’t been as enthusiastic.
Around here there’s been stuff that weighs one down. It hangs around and tries to block the view of what is real and important and worth noticing. And, at times, it wins. I find myself looking inward instead of around. Finding what’s wrong instead of enjoying what’s right. Because…I forget. When we forget Who and focus on what, it’s easy to lose sight of what was once joy. “The whole earth is filled with awe at Your wonders; where morning dawns, where evening fades, You call forth songs of joy.” (Psalm 65:8 NIV)
This weight of life, we were not meant to bear alone. Even loved ones and friends are not our burden bearers. There is only One. He won’t take it from us, but He will gladly accept it. And just when we think we can’t – then we finally realize truth: we can’t.
It is hard. During loss or grief or pain or fear or whatever our hard thing is, I can testify that when I finally melt down and just simply say I can’t, He makes a way. The burden lightens, sometimes just enough to breathe – and that is enough for then. “Let the morning bring me word of Your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go, for to You I entrust my life.” (Psalm 143:8 NIV)
There’s a little read book in the Bible, Lamentations. As its name indicates, it’s full of woe and dreariness. And the author, Jeremiah, lived a lot of woe. But in the midst of it all, a ray of sun shines through. And what Jeremiah momentarily forgot, what we forget sometimes hourly, is what our souls crave: “The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV)
And so, He does it once again (and again and again). And another day closes and the hope of a new morning awaits. As you’re reading this, if you find yourself in that place where ‘I can’t’ is all you know to say, don’t hold back. Shout it out. In the release of that exhausted breath, the Holy Spirit will hold you once more. The Jesus who hung on the cross and bore more burdens than we can even imagine, will gladly take yours.
God’s promises are truth, they all come to pass. Some day we will see His face and not even a vague memory of this journey will linger. Until then we can join the chorus and sing:
Great is Thy faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me —– EVERY morning!
parisrenae 