Where can I go

When days seemed endless, I memorized Psalm 139. One of my most beloved Bible passages. As I reflect on the years behind and ponder the ones ahead, I have taken a more in-depth look at David’s long-ago words. “You hem me in – behind and before, You have laid Your hand upon me.” (verse 5 NIV) Commentaries on God’s word confirm that this is His protection around us – His assurance, guidance, comfort, presence.

I realize now the Lord had me tuck those words away in my heart for when I would need them. After my husband passed away, I had his wedding band sized for my ring finger. As I slipped it on, my heart’s eyes remembered how many times I had looked at his hands seeing that gold band of promise.

The enormity of what it must mean when the Bible speaks of God’s hands is like trying to see all of a mountain range or a giant redwood tree from the base. Yes, the Word is speaking figuratively, yet a God who can create mountains, lays His hand on you and me?

My daughter’s hands are beautiful and expressive. My little grands clasp my hand in theirs as we walk. Our hands cradle tiny heads and change their diapers. Wave hellos and goodbyes. Shield our eyes from the sun and hide them in fear. They feed us and do our daily work. They start pink and chubby and end freckled and thin. We hold hands at sick bedsides, then fold them beseeching in prayer.

Verse 7 asks if there is any place where we can go where God is not. The Psalmist is reminding himself and us that God is ever, always with us. Verse 10 says “even there” – the darkest dark, worst day, most broken of places – yes, He is there.

I long to hold my husband’s hand once more. But the only hand with us beginning to end is the Lord’s. Calloused, nail pierced, bloodstained. Think of all Jesus’ hands did while on earth: they played, worked, wielded tools, folded in prayer, wiped tears, touched lepers and blind eyes, grasped Peter’s sinking hand, and so much more.

Those same hands still do. Maybe not visibly on earth, but in our hearts and souls (and sometimes in our bodies). Day by day in our joys and sorrows. “Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.” (verse 6) Just like us trying to see the whole of something all at once, trying to grasp this is beyond what we can begin to imagine. Truly it is too lofty, but thanks be to God, it is true.