Ok to be afraid

I’ve been pondering the devastation of Western North Carolina – an area where my family and I have made memories. Recently I have heard three different people say essentially the same sad phrase: “The North Carolina mountain landscape will never look the same.” While it brings tears to my eyes, it has been life changing, frightening, and deeply sorrowful for those who call it home.

I reflected on what it must be like to own your home and the ground it sits on one day and the next to see that not only has your home washed away but the very ground it stood on has slid away, leaving only a steep embankment.

In our lives it may not be a literal landscape that has washed away, but the landscape of our heart. What was once a rock-solid career has disappeared due to financial instability – changing not only the company’s landscape but that of your family’s bank account. A terminal illness diagnosis leads to endless appointments and eventually ends life – changing the landscape of the family with an empty spot at the table.

Are you facing, or have you already faced, times that felt like a storm came through and now nothing looks the same? Do you feel fearful? Do you also feel guilty for feeling fearful because, as a Christian, aren’t you supposed to be stoic?

I’ve been there. Ok, sometimes, it still creeps in. Of all the things I’ve been learning, I think my biggest ‘aha’ has been that it is ok to be afraid. It’s not shameful, it’s not wrong, it is human.

You may be thinking: but the Bible says ‘fear not’, ‘do not be afraid’. Take a closer look. When those words are used, look at the context. God is always the answer when we fear. Not us pulling ourselves together. Not us praying more. Not us doing anything. Jesus knows our fragile hearts are prone to fear.

Financial resources, needs: Luke 12:22-32 addresses worrying about food, clothes, shelter, etc. This passage ends with “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.” Yes, hard right now, but right now is preparing you for a kingdom we can’t begin to fathom.

When it comes to marriage, children, illness, death God is right there in those ‘fear not’ passages as well. God doesn’t miss the passing of a sparrow; He knows the number of hairs on your head – and how many fall out during chemo. Matthew 10:29-31 ends with: “So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.” Worth more to whom? The Creator who knit you together, who will give you a welcome home hug like no other and promises you will never fear again. But for now, share your fears with God and others – and your tears.